My mother is a brilliant woman.

She's brilliant in many, many ways (her spiritual walk and her cooking both spring immediately to mind), but what I'm thinking of today is her clever take on literary education.

Step one: she got her children addicted to reading. By addicted, I mean we are those curious, anti-social creatures that read at all meals (except mandatory family meals), read at the beach, the putt-putt golf course (actually not recommended if you want to be somewhere above last), and, on house-cleaning days, read in the bathroom.

Step two: she removed all books that were not classic literature. (Should've put this sooner: warning, this post may contain exaggerations.) This forced us to rely on books such as The Chronicles of Narnia, the Lord of the Rings, The Scarlet Pimpernel, and history books for entertainment.

Step three: she turned us loose at the library. Having had our reading tastes shaped by her clever ways, we immediately headed for the classics. Some of us discovered classics like Shakespeare.

The end result of our literary education is that not all of us know how to connect to our peers.

Me: Hi! Read any good books lately?

Other Teen: Yeah, I just discovered the Twilight series. Ever read those?

Me: No...

Other Teen: Well, what do you like to read?

Me: Ooh, I just read a great Shakespeare play! Ever read Julius Caesar?

Ah well, at least I can quote the Bard with reasonable accuracy.