Balance.

One of the very best things in my life right now is my writing group. And I almost didn't join it.

When Janice Hardy first floated the idea of creating a group for writers to form critique groups, I dithered about joining. I worried about the time commitment, about sharing my story with total strangers, about agreeing to read stories written by people who might not be bothered by things that bothered me. (At the time, I was thinking language and adult content, not grammar. These days, I've discovered grammar is more of a problem...which probably means I'm a grammar nazi in a bad way.) My writing buddy said she was joining, so my dithering tipped into sending Janice an email.

I'm so glad I did. I love the group. I've learned many fantastic things from them, and, like most things involving humans, not just writing. Vanessa has become my personal hero. That poor girl has had her story straight-up trashed. Several times. We've shredded her openings into Garfield's curtains. And every single month, she brings a new opening. A better opening. Her latest had some lines that left me breathless. Poetic, epic fantasy, with a bleak feel to it...and her indomitable spirit shines through.

I actually hadn't meant to bring that up, but Vanessa deserves recognition, so it got mentioned. Anyway.

The mixed blessing of a writing group is that you get multiple people's opinions on your work. And since I like everybody to say, "This is good" before I'll accept it's good, this can get...interesting. I've got one line that three people liked and two people didn't. I like it, and the majority likes it, so I'll probably keep it. But then there's the line that only one person commented on, and he didn't like it. So now what? Do I follow the maxim "murder your darlings"? (The unfortunately phrased maxim?) Delete it because it doesn't seem to be working as designed? Or do I shrug off the criticism and keep on truckin'?

Arrogance versus humility. My own vision versus teachability. How do these balance?

I can't be a pushover and change everything objected to, ever. I am the one writing the story. I am the one who knows what I mean to say.

I can't be a stiff-necked fool and ignore advice I don't like. (Well, I can, but it's a bad idea.)

I've been challenged to come up with solutions for lazy writing, like knocking out a guard with a blackjack. Apparently, that would kill him in real life, which means either he's dead in fake life or I knock him out differently. After quite a long time and talking to people who know how to incapacitate people, I knocked him out differently. This, because of my excellent writing group, who refused to suspend disbelief and let me off with laziness.

And I've been challenged to consider my work with detachment, to weigh the criticism against my inner vision and determine whether my "clever" line is worth keeping.

I still don't know. I dunno, I guess I'll hang onto it for now and see if it passes muster on further edits. For now, I will balance my inner editor and my outer editors on a tightrope over the Niger.

There may be crocodiles below.